11 months

Today is the 11th month of my daughter’s life.  It has been a heck of a time so far.  I figured it’d be a good idea to update people on how she is doing, if you don’t follow me regularly on facebook or something.

So at this point, she is eating solids for 3 meals a day, plus snacks.  She still breastfeeds a few times a day, but she’s slowly lowering her intake of breastmilk, by herself it seems.  She just drinks progressively less and less each time it seems.  This coincides with changes in her digestive system, which any parent will know is an… interesting time.  For those who aren’t parents, lets just say you don’t care and don’t really want to know. 

She’s standing frequently now, and taking a few steps, although she still uses assistance.  Not that she necessarily needs it, because she has a tendency to stand on her own, unassisted, but once she realizes that’s what she’s doing, she’ll immediately sit down, normally with a rather loud thud right on her butt.  It’s very cute, very funny, and a little frustrating, because I would really like her to be able to stand and walk a little on her own.  Can’t force it, but it’d be nice if she got over the fear.

She currently has three teeth, with a fourth just about ready to burst through the gum-line.  This has led her to have a very adorable toothy grin, which she readily shows off.  It’s accompanied by a very funny face scrunch, so that all you see are gums, the teeth, and what can only be described as a “HEEEEEE” face.  I do everything in my power to get her to make this face as often as possible, because it normally comes with a laugh that makes my heart melt.  These are the moments that parents look forward to, and make all the difficulties of having a child worth it.

Speaking of difficulties, her fingernails grow at roughly the same pace that sharks replace missing teeth, and are about as sharp.  In fact, today, she used her fingers to show me a new defensive move.  It involved taking her finger, and jamming it in the space between my eyeball, and the edge of my eye socket, through the skin.  I didn’t realize this was possible until today, and I have to tell you… it hurt like a son of a b*(&^.  In fact, it STILL hurts now, and it’s been about 7 hours since it happened, so I’ll have to remember that should I ever have to defend myself.  It’s effective, and it doesn’t destroy the eye, which is good for me, cause squished eyeballs make me queasy.

Her eyes seemed to have settled in color.  Amazingly, despite being half my child (half-asian) she doesn’t have solid brown eyes.  Her eye color shifts slightly between a light brown and an olive green.  It depends on the lighting, and the clothing she wears, as well as just the day in general, but her eye color isn’t typical, which I think will lead to a very dramatic look for her when she gets older.  It has a very nice effect, and I can’t wait to see how it develops as time goes on.

She’s still not forming coherent words yet, although every now and then, it seems that she’s imitating enough sounds to form words.  She does babble a lot more now than she used to, and she’s not afraid of making those sounds around strangers now, which is good and bad.  Good, because it means she wants to talk.  Bad, because it means she won’t be automatically quiet in public now like she used to be.  She’s still pretty well behaved in public though, but every now and then we have to shush her.  No big deal though, since everyone gives her a pass cause she’s so cute.

That’s really all of the relevant things going on with her.  I’m excited about her getting to her one year birthday, just because it means she’s been with us for a full revolution around the sun.  Also because it means I’ve been able to keep her alive for a full year, which for me, is a pretty good accomplishment.  Heck, I’ve never had a pet I was able to keep alive by myself, so that says something.  Must mean I love her.

But seriously, I do love her a lot.  She’s been an absolute treasure to me since she was born, and every day, she just makes me that much happier to be her daddy.  I honestly never thought I would be capable of that kind of love, and yet I keep surpassing it with every day.  It sounds cheesy as hell, but it’s true.  I’m sure I’ll look back on this when she’s a teenager and cursing my name, and go “Man…I wish for those days” but I get the feeling things will be ok.  Guess we’ll see.  Look for a future update called “13 years… can I quit now?”

Time Passes By Far Too Fast

It’s been quite some time since I’ve posted on here (as I usually go through periods of just not wanting to write) but some big things have been going on, and I felt it was time to do an update.

We are 5 days away from my little girl hitting 11 months. It has absolutely astonished me at how quickly this time has gone by.  We went from a helpless little baby, who would just lie there, not being able to move in any way, unable to pick things up, completely reliant on her parents for everything, to a toddler that can crawl, stand and walk with a little assistance, pick up her own food and feed herself, and even starting to form words, and it all happened in the blink of an eye.

I’ve been there every step of the way, and I still scratch my head wondering how and when it all happened.  I still find it hard to believe that I’m actually a father, but to realize that I had a healthy hand in getting her to this point in her life… I’m still amazed that I didn’t kill her during the first week I was alone with her.  She seems healthy, happy, energetic, and sweet beyond words. 

I know there’s still a lot more to go, but I really do have to take a minute to step back, take a look, and give myself some kudos for taking care of my little girl.  I’m not going to pat myself on the back too hard, but it does mean something to me that I went from being completely inexperienced at handling children, to regularly feeding, cleaning, clothing, and entertaining my daughter, and have her come out through all of it quite healthy. 

There are still many challenges ahead, and there are still times (plenty of times at that) where I question whether or not I’ll be able to meet those challenges, but up until now, I’ve done alright.  I may not be the best dad in the world, since I know I get wrapped up in my own stuff sometimes, to the point of annoyance for my wife and probably even my daughter now and then, but I’m fortunate that my little girl still seems to like me, where she’ll cling to me if she doesn’t see me for a little bit. 

That being said, I’m looking forward to her first birthday.  I want to do something special for her, even if she doesn’t really remember it when she’s older.  Unfortunately, I kind of suck at that kind of thing, so I really don’t know what to do. I hope it comes to me though, because I really would like to make her as happy as she’s made me.  It may not seem like it most of the time, but I am actually very happy since she’s been in my life, my depression notwithstanding.  It’s a constant battle between those two feelings, and she’s the main reason the depression doesn’t have a permanent hold on me. 

Well, I’ll try to update more often, as I haven’t gone into any real detail for some time.  Her development will be picking up again soon, and I look forward to being there with her, every step of the way.